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Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy

Apr 17
Written by Dominique Oster
Dominique Oster
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The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships, & Other Adventures

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There’s a difference between genuine preparation and getting stuck in worry. True readiness comes from taking concrete actions, not just imagining what could go wrong.
Making a mistake is part of being human. Guilt recognizes the action, while shame makes it feel like your entire worth is at stake. Remember, mistakes don’t define who you are.
Even when things are going well, it’s okay to desire more. Growth and change are natural parts of life, and wanting more doesn’t diminish what you already have.
Exploring your sexuality is about curiosity and learning. It’s normal to make mistakes or have moments that don’t go as planned. What matters most is allowing yourself the freedom to discover without pressure.
Betrayal clings tightly, challenging the foundation of trust and commitment in ways few things can. It tests our strength and patience, reminding us that healing takes time, honesty, and courage to rebuild what was broken.

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